I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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