At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
