dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
