I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
