omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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