I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
