I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
