Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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