Your tits are I can't wait for
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
