I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
