This girl is more easily done than said...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
