just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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