Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
