His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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