Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
