sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
