I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
