If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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