i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
