Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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