I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
