Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
