i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
