I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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