He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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