trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
