It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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