Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
