Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
