No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
