he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
