I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
