Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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