Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
