I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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