all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
