If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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