worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I lost the right to judge tonight
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
