Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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