i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize