genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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