I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
