your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
