She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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