I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
