remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
