Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
