They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
