I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
