What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
